It’s surprising what can happen to yourself in the space of a few days. And I feel more purpose now, than I ever have. It all started with an early night with a sad revelation. One of the people I follow on Twitter tweeted about her tragic loss of her father after he committed suicide. After I had drifted off to a sleep I never really got. I felt restless and I woke up the following day with things going wrong from the start.
I had my bookkeeping exam and as some of you on Twitter know, that it didn’t go too well. I was unnerved from the night before. In the same location where I’m doing my courses, is where my darkest days unfolded. Now with the strength (all thanks to lyrics from a young man no older than myself at the time, confessing to this own demons) who convinced me to say no. I might have been fine but the shock of the news that I heard shock me to the core and perhaps my own nightmares returned. Even though I’m perfectly fine now but the memories are still there. However I couldn’t explain this to my parents as they decided to pin the blame on my trip to Newark. Canterbury despite the memories is still a city I love to be in.
I wasn’t fully prepared for the exam and I’ll admit to that but my mind wasn’t really focused on that or anything. I made no haste in trying to make the day positive and finally faced the facts when I make a call to mum while parked in Bossingham. The lack of 3G there annoyed me but that’s all part in parcel of being out in the country. I knew what I’d get when I’d get through the door. I took it on the chin and proceeded.
My parents weren’t keen on the trip at all. Even though the prime objective of the drive was to help the Green Party, the other reason was due to my bucket list too. One of the things I vowed to do when I passed my test was to drive on the A1 (the old A1, not the land of blue signs). It was a personal goal that was achieved with my politics interest. And you know what? I revelled in it. I lost signal of my FM transmitter at Cambridge and decided to switch to Radio five live instead. I had ample breaks and jelly babies and headed there fine. Until the trouble at Stamford. It was signed all the way back as far as the Dartford Crossing. Kudos to the Highways Agency to making motorists aware that far.
However for where I was going it was unavoidable. I did find a route despite it going around the houses. I phoned David just outside Grantham and got there fine. And the rest was history. I engaged with the public at the stall and was awed at the feedback. It really made me feel positive despite the day before. I’ll talk about my Newark trip on my new politics blog (when it’s ready). The drive home was mixed with more music and Radio Five. While on the A1 I even dared to sing. Loudly.
And the Sunday, was easy with an afternoon drive over the Romney Marsh and walked around the quietest part of it between Ruckinge and Newchurch. (I also didn’t get an audience this when I read the parish council board in Ruckinge either). And strolled across the road and looked around. And this was like walking in Eden. I then hit the usual place on the coast and lounged in the sun.
And then I turn up at work and have the most untroubled time I’ve ever had on Fast Wash. Mondays are meant to be overwhelming but I slowly got through the stuff that Nettra was finding out on the loading bay and everything from scrub suits, curtains and mops were washed in orderly fashion. I started the day without Machine 4 which had technical issues and was out of order and it was repaired in no time at all. And the day just flew. So that was fine.
I finally found someone to chat to about my problems on Friday and feel fine. But I will end this post with a point. If you KNOW anyone who is depressed, please help them. Don’t let them consider taking their own lives. A young lady lost her father and I can’t stress how important your help could be. I just wish society cared for those who struggle in life. I’m one of the lucky ones and hurts me if someone is lost.